MY FUNNY CORPORATE VALENTINE
wonder woman

I couldn't relate to white women in tiaras talking Big Talk and having exotic conflicts over exotic dangers. The last time I remember enjoying the book was when Denny O'Neil, Mike Sekowsky and Larry Hama (editor) took her powers away, killed Steve Trevor, and dressed her in miniskirts and go-go boots. Denny is just a genius. And he wasn't particularly fond of the I-Ching era. But it was daring. It had an idea, a way to make all of this dusty Greek mythology relevant to Joe Lunchbox.

I really ticked 'em off. In this essay, written two years ago, I referred to my WW story, The 18th Letter, as being a "milestone," while complaining about how the story and the book was handled by DC. Fans of Wonder Woman found my essay and complained bitterly on message boards, taking me completely apart limb by limb. As I explained on the DC Message board, The 18th Letter was a milestone in the sense that it is the first story of it's kind: a villain commits atrocities in order to blackmail Wonder Woman into sleeping with him. To my knowledge, that story has not been done before, therefore, yeah, I'd say ...Letter was, indeed, a milestone in WW lore. "Milestone" doesn't mean "greatest story ever written," or, for that matter, even, "good." It just means it's a first.

They also took issue with my saying Wonder Woman is boring. Well, she is boring. DC Comics, perhaps in some effort to protect their corporate interest, has traditionally handcuffed writers and artists on WW (artists less so these days, with ill-advised "good girl" thong shots of WW— not wise, gang) to keep her, well, fairly mainstream (there— is that better than saying "wonder bread"?).

Diana is a stiff, kids. There's just no two ways about it. But, so is Black Panther. Both are from exotic, far-off lands with strange customs. Both are vested in ancient tradition and both have a mission to share those core values with us dumb Amerikanskis.  The main difference is Marvel could care less if I shoved Panther n front of a truck (well, at least until his film goes into production), while DC has a major merchandising investment in the venerable Amazon.

I confess I have not read any of Phil Jimenez's work on the book, although the book gets rave reviews. I wasn't a big fan of George Perez' WW either, which I realize is heresy to a great many WW fans, but there ya go. I couldn't relate to white women in tiaras talking Big Talk and having exotic conflicts over exotic dangers. I mean, what did any of that have to do with me? On the other hand, I didn't want to read about Wonder Woman serving up burritos at Taco Whiz, either.

The fact is, nobody has had a consistently winning vision for the character in a long time. Any real vision for the book has to be filtered through DC's legal and merchandising team, so it's not like I could turn her into Queen Of The Bitches or anything. The last time I remember enjoying the book was when Denny O'Neil, Mike Sekowsky and Larry Hama (editor) took her powers away, killed Steve Trevor, and dressed her in miniskirts and go-go boots. Denny is just a genius. And he wasn't particularly fond of the I-Ching era. But it was daring. It had an idea, a way to make all of this dusty Greek mythology relevant to Joe Lunchbox.

I think Wonder Woman has lots of potential, but I could think of no greater nightmare than having to write her book every month, under the then-atmosphere of must-not-rock-boat. My fill-in stories usually surrounded WW with colorful characters since she herself was, by edict, quite pale. Also, a fill-in story  is no place to advance real characterization: you're just house-sitting till Byrne arrives. So my hands were tied extra-special tight: I was absolutely forbidden from making Diana interesting or giving her many more notes than you'd see in your average  Super Friends episode. The 18th Letter was intended to change all of that.

Originally conceived as a hardcover graphic novel, The 18th Letter was designed to be edgy and controversial. It was also my only real at-bat with the character: a chance to do more with her than just baby-sit the book for some guy who couldn't read a calendar. It was my first and for all I know my last actual Wonder Woman story: the first time I actually had much to say about the character (although, WONDER WOMAN #137, where Circe turns Hippolyta, WW's mother, into Jamie Buchman—  Helen Hunt's urban housewife from the NBC comedy Mad About You— came close to saying something about her, about her life and relationship to her mother).

For reasons both too long and too stupid to go into here, The 18th Letter was cut from 96 pages to 66 and instead of being a hardcover special edition became three skippable issues of the wrongheaded anthology LEGENDS OF THE DC UNIVERSE— a book whose entire premise, of continuity-based and continuity-extending asides in the histories of their heroes, has been ruined by DC's cavalier regard for continuity in this series. These issues are no longer considered canonical, so ...Letter was, more or less, an exercise is futility. I was writing to the wind.

I'm really sorry if my original essay, following, insulted Wonder Woman fans. There's no percentage in insulting people who support you, and WW fans have supported my work in the past and I'm quite grateful. Wonder Woman is not a dull concept, but she has, for very long stretches, been a dull character. I'm hoping my pal Phil is changing all of that these days, and that the fans are happy and the character and book continues to thrive. I'm not really sure what I'd do with her if I got the assignment. I tend not to think in what-ifs, especially when the possibility of an offer from DC is incredibly remote: even speculating about a Priest Wonder Woman would be a great an exercise in futility as trying to bring The 18th Letter into fruition ultimately became.

Christopher J. Priest
May 2002

WONDER WOMAN
"He'll stop a war.  A war--
for one night with me."
BATMAN
"So would I..."

 

---

I've had several flirtations with WONDER WOMAN.
She is, perhaps, one of the most difficult characters in comics to write. This likely accounts for why her book has been consistently dull (with the rare George Perez or Denny O'Neil to come along), but it doesn't explain why the character is so enduring: why is this character still around?! She is a corporate character and the handcuffs come with writing assignment, so there is only but so much you can do with the goody-two-shoes demi-goddess. My approach has, consistently, been to play off her Wonder Bread nature by questioning and challenging her values in any way DC would let me get away with. 

THE 18th LETTER, a story arc I did in LEGENDS OF THE DC UNIVERSE, was a milestone for the character. But, since the story was not in WW's own book, but was in the questionably legitimate demi-continuity of the LEGENDS book, it was like the tree falling in the forest with no one to hear it. The concept of a ruthless villain making an indecent proposal to WW is, to my knowledge, a unique one. Overall, the arc was fairly well executed, with some critical realigning of alliances between WW, Superman and Batman that will, doubtless, be ignored for decades to come.

ONCE UPON A TIME:

There was a seer named Amphiaraus whose wife Eriphyle talked him into joining the Seven Against Thebes in an ill-fated war against the Theban king.  Amphiarus and the Seven were slaughtered, and Amphiarus' son ALCMAEON united the sons of the Seven, called the Epigoni or "The Afterborn," in a more successful second expedition, after which Alcmaeon killed Eriphyle- his own mother- to avenge his father's death (Eriphyle was part of a scheme to kill Amphiaraus and the Seven).  After committing matricide, Alcmaeon went insane, and wandered from place to place, haunted by avenging goddesses, the Erinyes (a trio of medusa-like demonic creatures),    and condemned to never find peace until he reached a spot on the Earth where the sun had not shone at the time he slew his mother.

Alcmaeon ultimately took refuge at Psophis in Arcadia. There, he married Arsinoe, the king's daughter.  When the land was cursed with barrenness because of his presence, he fled to the mouth of the Achelous River and married Callirrhoe, daughter of the river god. The king and his sons pursued Alcmaeon and killed him.

Or, at least, that's how the story goes. 

TWO THOUSAND YEARS LATER:

Michael Lysander is the ruthless military leader of a vicious rebel faction in a DCU-invented eastern European country.  Lysander has unseated the government and now his forces have set upon a genocidal mission of ethnic cleansing, claiming his right to rebuild the ancient nation of Attica. The rest of the world, shocked at the atrocities, level resolution after resolution, and the U.S. threatens intervention, but the killing goes unabated while Lysander's diplomats stall and deal.

And the Justice League does nothing.

The JLA's charter (I am assuming) forbids their intervention in humanity's political affairs, but a debate among the leaguers continues as they witness these atrocities from their HQ on the moon.  Remember the 1940's when Superman helped in the war effort?  Well, forget it, baby, those days are gone.

Wonder Woman cannot guarantee she can remain uninvolved much longer.  Her mission, to bring the principles and teachings of the Amazon race to man's world, supercedes her commitment to the JLA charter.  Superman is committed to not becoming involved unless and until the proper authorities invite the league in.  The League is holding its breath the same way the U.S. and the U.N. are- everyone hoping Lysander can be contained or otherwise placated somehow, without having to escalate the conflict.

At the height of the crisis, the JLA receive a priority message:  the League's help finally has been requested.  But the only leaguer to be summoned is Wonder Woman.

Wonder Woman heads immediately to the war-ravaged land and meets with Lysander.  Lysander is Tom Cruise.  He is the most arrestingly, unexpectedly charming and disarming person to ever appear in a DC comic.  Disaffected, almost oblivious to the bloodletting around him, Diana finds Lysander fussing with his new DVD machine, trying to get Top Gun to play (this was later changed to Lysander fixing a toilet— worked much better).

Michael Lysander is a guy most any woman on the planet would fall immediately in love with, and Wonder Woman is not immune to the man's almost demonic charm- but- the death and suffering around her keeps her tightly focused, reminding her this hunk-o-rama is also pretty much a modern day Hitler.

Which, of course, depends on how you look at it, and we present briefly Lysander's side of the story, compelling in its own right. Among his people he is a god, a legend, an immortal.  And this is a matter of divine right, an act of God, and who the hell are you people to come here and tell us what to do?!

In any case, Lysander has summoned Wonder Woman there to offer her a deal.  A pretty simple one:  He will end the fighting immediately, withdraw his forces, surrender himself to the authorities- in essence betray everything he is and everything he knows to be true.  Save maybe millions of lives and declare a lasting peace in this region—

—if Wonder Woman will spend one night with him.

CONFESSIONS OF AN IDIOT

Mark Waid once told me about an issue of IMPULSE where Bart drives  a car off a cliff on the last page.  I asked Mark, "So, how does he get down?"  Mark: "I have no idea whatsoever." That's actually the fun of this job: to discover things about the characters and to share those discoveries with the audience. The only stories worth writing anymore are the ones that challenge both the characters and the readers to grow together and to have a shared learning experience. To go charging into the unknown.

It took me nearly three years to complete this story, mainly because I'm an idiot. And not just any kind of idiot, but a truly special idiot. THE 18TH LETTER was, for me, definitely the unknown. Originally begun as a hardcover special under Editor Paul Kupperberg, I wanted to write a Wonder Woman story that had never been written before, but one relevant to the political and social climate at the turn of the century.

Her iconic stature and her gender places Wonder Woman in a unique- possibly the most unique- position in the DC Universe.  It makes her, ultimately, a bit untouchable.  Every writer to come along has had to belly up to the challenge of finding new and exciting things to say about her within that context. There was a collective gasp from DC at my "Indecent Proposal" high concept. I think we got it approved because it was a story that could only happen to Wonder Woman. It was a story that, within the DCU, would be written about WW or not at all. Paul and I tinkered on and off with the story (mostly off) for about a year before Paul moved on to anther department, and I became a Marvel Knight of sorts.

Once new WW Editor Maureen McTigue came aboard, I became even more intimidated. I mean, here was this... this woman... editing my Indecent Proposal story.  Who was I to tell her what women are feeling? What made me think I could credibly tell her a story of a woman's inner struggle?

Look, any time a man writes a story about a woman, he's guessing.  Best he can do.  Guess what she's feeling, guess how she feels it, when she feels it.  It's all a mystery.  Women are, in and of themselves, their own most closely guarded secret. And, suddenly, I was nose-to-nose with one of them, guessing my way through a story chock full of moral and emotional trap doors. The emperor had no clothes. I just knew she'd take one look at my notes and get Heidi MacDonald on speed dial. She'd hate me.  Hate me. 

But, actually, she didn't. Along with former DC Manager of Editorial Services Bob Greenberger, the Alcmaeon-Furies (Eumenides, Erinyes) -Fury-Fury II-Sandman connection began to take shape. Then, for some brain damaged reason, I decided to loosely base part of this on A.E. Housman's A Fragment Of A Greek Tragedy, and to actually write the piece in the structure of Greek tragedy. I suppose I have Michael A. Chary to blame for this. Michael is a literary and theological scholar who, along with a long list of other friends, lent his considerable academic prowess to this project.

Between the daunting, legendary protagonist, the subject matter itself, the challenging structure, Maureen's nose, and my own idiocy, this job became the Erinyes to my Alcmaeon, haunting me, denying me any peace until I'd satisfied its demands. Which is, to say, it took a long, long time.

I'm extremely grateful to Paul Kupperberg for having the first vision for this project, and to Bob Greenberger for his tireless efforts and indispensable continuity assistance.

Thanks most especially to the magnificent Karl Waller who breathed life into idiocy, and gave dramatic and powerful expression to this work. I can write the most inspired script I can muster, but, at the end of the day, it is the artist who actually tells the story. Karl delivered the goods here, and elevated the work to a truly classic level. Thank you so much for sharing your gifts with such an undeserving  idiot.

And, most of all, thanks to the boss, Maureen, for sharing yourself and some of them women secrets with me. For being a better friend than I deserve and a better editor than I could ever hope for.

This has been a tremendous effort on everyone's part, a labor of love, and we all sincerely hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as we've enjoyed the long, hard struggle to bring it to you.


Christopher J. Priest
April, 2000


With thanks to:
Paul Kupperberg, Bob Greenberger, Brian Augustyn, Mike Chary, Kevin Maroney, JL Franke, Marc Singer, Hosun S. Lee, Bala Menon, Sidne Gail Ward, Ph.D., Chris Maka, Rick Jones, Dave Van Domelen, Max Chittister, Denise Voskuil-Marré and Dr. Elmo

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